From OHC
March 27, 2018
Many caregivers find it a natural part of their lives to help a family member or friend with an illness. It allows them to show how much they love and respect their friend or loved one. Caregiving can mean helping with day-to-day activities such as doctor visits or preparing food. It can also be long-distance, coordinating care and services for your loved one by phone or email. Caregiving can also mean giving emotional and spiritual support. Many patients often just want someone to listen and then help them work through the many feelings they may be experiencing.
Giving care and support during this challenging time isn’t always easy. The natural response of most caregivers is to put their own feelings and needs aside. They try to focus on the person with cancer and the work they need to do. It’s important for caregivers to take care of themselves, too, because if don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else.
The organization, Caregiver Action Network (CAN), offers 10 tips for the more than 90 million Americans who care for loved ones with chronic conditions, disabilities, disease, or the frailties of old age. One suggestion is to accept offers of help from others. Family members typically feel like they should be the ones providing the care because it’s their family member who is in need. They can feel guilty letting a non-family member help.
“I was stunned when my sister scolded me for letting my friend help with my husband,” said Lisa. “But I couldn’t do everything and needed help. My friend just happened to call at the right moment with a gracious offer to stay with him while I tackled my huge list of errands.”
It’s also good if you suggest specific things people can do to help you.
“My friend was caring for his wife and when I asked if I could help, he asked me to rake the pine needles in their front yard,” said Sharon. “That was perfect because I knew exactly what to do and I knew it was something he really needed to have done.”
CAN has an abundance of information for caregivers including stories from other care givers, resources, programs and videos at caregiveraction.org. Another helpful resource is a booklet from the National Cancer Institute called “Support for Caregivers. When Someone You Love Is Being Treated for Cancer.” The booklet provides ways for a friend or family member to take care of themselves while caring for someone with cancer and is available via download as a pdf, Kindle or ePub file.
